wee davies

sep-tem-blur

2010-10-04T21:25:00.000-07:00

I meant to, I really did, to post something substantial throughout the last month. considering september is a pretty active month around here. but alas, life took more out of me than i anticipated.

september consisted of the following...

my peach started grade 1!

I trained for my bike ride with friends

and then kicked @$$ on the 158km ride

then miss sky turned 6 and i had 4 giggly girls celebrating with a pink pampered princess party

And the wee mr started pre-school, ahhh so fast...

these little cold lake people celebrated their 1st birthday's

i fell more and more in love with biking, did 60k around pigeon lake

and this last weekend matt (above) & i did canmore to banff & back in +26C!!! Ya baby!

a plus side

2010-09-27T21:07:00.000-07:00

the good thing about crying for a day and a half is that I have the kind of friends who will pick me up ice cream and run it to my door with a smile and bear hug. no judgment and no questions asked! they're good like that.

can i just say...

2010-09-20T22:26:00.000-07:00

i just want to say,
and excuse my french....

but sometimes life is just a big fucking disappointment!

more on that later.

i see beauty

2010-08-31T21:31:00.000-07:00

the truth be known, i am in a bit of mess with life these days. but i am holding my head up high and i have been capturing beauty on my iphone. sharing the moments here!

Pedal head

2010-08-17T22:11:00.000-07:00

'Hello fellow bloggers-ers. I wanted to let you know that I am planing to take part in this years Young Life (YL) Iron Bike fundraiser. (read INSANITY!!!)
This is a road bike of over 150km through the Rockies on September 11th. My goal is to raise $1500 for YL. Please visit http://www.younglife.ca/netcommunity/lynsae
to learn more. Would you prayerfully/mindfully consider giving in this way? Feel free to discuss with me!

Felion-K9

2010-08-15T08:04:00.000-07:00

Skylar needs clean underpants, I head to the laundry room and get them. Upon leaving the laundry room my dog,Myka, is blocking the exit snout down rooting behind the recycle box. I try to encourage her to move, and eventually nudge her with my leg. And low & behold, in her mouth is a mouse! A MOUSE!!! So I scream, she drops it, I jump.... Then I call her back and say "get it!" so the loyal girl she is, that's what she does! It's then I notice the trap on it's tail! She now has it at the bottom of the stairs which the children are curiously climbing down. I am traped in the laundry room yelling for them to stay put, timber is telling me no while I am very sternly saying yes! All the while myka stands between us, her victim under her stance. Then the mouse moves again, myka pounces-I scream-timber cries... I eventually get a box from the recycle, cover the mouse and quickly move upstairs. my four legged hero remains lying in front of her kill. Skylar wants us to kill it with a kitchen knife and then examine it for teeth wounds! Yeah, like that's gonna happen!

Too much excitment for me. It will remain under the box until the man of the house returns from his expedition!

i forgot

2010-08-10T09:38:00.001-07:00

i forgot about all these photos from my i phone. heres what we have been up to since around the end of school...

this hillarious photo of timber on the potty

a picnic with aunty B and Saiche

skyli got her ears pierced for end school. so brave she was!

and she attended her first VBS

we had a day of oli parker.

saw the capital X parade

and did our first bike ride to the library. a 15 minute trip in stroller that took 1hr +5 mins!!

Learn something new

2010-08-06T23:04:00.000-07:00

Here's a leason you all can learn via my opps!
1: DO NOT put your phone into your pocket when using the toilet or assisting others to use the toilet.
2: WHEN the iPhone that you placed in your pocket falls out into the toilet, DO reach in after it immediatly & if need be DO give it mouth to phone ressesitation!
3: apparently you should NOT try turning it or be pushing buttons repeditivly. but you should put it in a bag of rice for 2 days and then it should dry out and work for you!
4: say thanks to your friends who said iPhone prayers because it works again & review lesson1!

(FYI ityped this on my restored iPhone!)

more oldies but goodies.

2010-08-03T21:36:00.001-07:00

here are a few more photos from the last few months that i'd intended for sharing.

those are from the easter walk we did with friends through the inner city,

and here are the davies cousins all gathered. pre baby girl #4 for M&K.

a visit with ethan and...

just b/c he is so dang cute!

there, all caught up. we didn't do road trip tuesday today, thrown of by the long weekend. i do believe i will add it into thursdays planned adventure of thrifty thursdays.

now & then

2010-07-30T20:51:00.000-07:00

everybody needs a fresh start every now & then. did you see the new layouts? i {heart} them! it was hard to narrow it down, but i have been thinking about this blog a lot lately and about how it is called wee davies, not me davies. and i want to try to focus a bit more on us as a whole family. so though i liked many of the different designs, this was more reflective of us as a wee. what do you think?

also time to play a little catch up in the photo dept.

NOW
(the trip to alberta beach...)

THEN
(the long awaited easter photo's...)

also, now is the day we celebrate Jereme's birth. the then was 29 years ago. Happy Birthday darling, we love you very,very,very,very,very,very much!

Road trip Tuesdays.

2010-07-27T21:54:00.000-07:00

I always have these sweet dreams of summer break. Accomplishing much, doing little, laughing, playing, visiting, reading and napping. all seem very likely until the reality of the everyday reminds me otherwise. But with the first 3 weeks of summer vacay done, I am planing for fun from here on in.
Firstly, I took the rest of the summer "off" so to speak. I will answer my phone and redirect emails but as far as live-local work goes, that's it!
Secondly, I spent an evening with great company, in Puddle boots trompsing thru the fields at j&j's farm last week. So refreshing!!!
Thirdly, I am designating certain fun things for certain days of the week and we started roadtrip Tuesdays today.

Our road adventure lead us to Alberta beach. Once I got over the shock of the disapearing lake, ( a common problem in these parts which grips my enviromentalist heart strings) the wee ones and I quite enjoyed ourselves. We took a long country road to and fro and enjoyed songs, gum, a picnic lunch and digging in the sand.

Photos to come. I plan to do a bit of a photo catching up here as part of he summer funness!
Stay tuned. And if you are In the mood, and available, we've got room in our auto for one more next tuesday.

Oh mr sandman

2010-07-22T00:22:00.000-07:00

Too upset to sleep, I lay here with burning eyes and a pounding headache at 23 after 1a.m.
These are the nights I wish my mommys bed was just down the hall for a snuggle.

I know it is far and few between posts these days and some of you wonder how I am faring?! I am coping. That's the most accurate response I can give.

The ER

2010-06-28T22:08:00.000-07:00

I ,@ this moment, find myself in the emergency room for the second time in the last 1.5weeks. I Loath ER! The last trip had me taking my panic ridden, barely breathing father to the Alec . I really hate it there because that is where under the direction of a ccrotchety nurse, and against my better judgement, I lost my baby and no choice but to flush her tiny, very tiny, being down a hospital toilet. I hate the Alec.

Tonight I find myself at the U. Typically not a trigger for me. Other than the fact that Gran died here, I find it a decent place. It is the place that saved my husband as a child and likewise my Timby, but it is an ER. And the wait is insane!
Sitting here, catching up on email and bogs, ( yay iPhone) a frantic couple comes in. And I know, even before I see the blood and cots dripping down her legs and soaking through her beautiful skirt, she is loosing her child.
That's what I find the most hard, that in any moment, on any given day-BOOM! There is the memory, there come the tears, the pain & the nurses snarky voice saying " well you could go home, but if you could save this pregnancy, wouldn't you want to at least try?"

I LOATH the ER!

Lynsae?

2010-06-18T16:42:00.000-07:00

Come out - come out wherever you are!
One day I will return when I feel I can. Thanks for hanging in there with me.
I am just too busy and overtaken by life that I just Have nothing else to offer up.

i do declare!

2010-05-30T23:11:00.000-07:00

so, my birthday gift to myself was a week of nothing unnecessary. (i am a BIG fan of the birthday week.)
no calorie counting,
no more work than i had to tend to,
staying up late and sleeping till noon this weekend,
and eating whatever i wanted in mass quantities.
BUT...
i declare an end to such frivalties, as enjoyable as all those events were, all good things must come to an end. i do, in fact, crave the routine i often strive for. i would like to use this next month, my first month of my 29th year, to gain balance and consistency to my days. and to my body-mind-spirit while i am at it.

05/25/1982

2010-05-25T23:45:00.000-07:00

FINALLY, after forty-three weeks of waiting, i graced the world with my presence. My mom must of had her dates wrong b/c i was three weeks late. yikes! since my babes have come early, i can not fathom 40 or more weeks of pregnancy.
but needless to say, it has set the president for my life as i am still usually running late.

Thank you to all who sent me voice mails, texts, emails and cards. it was a really nice day and i enjoyed it. had a massage (thanks to sweet emma's free babysitting), got gorgeous flowers and a movie night out, saw friends and of coarse ate whatever i wanted in mass quantities!

and the birthday week will continue on. we love to celebrate! but the eating needs to settle down. i feel a bit like sausage.

matters of the heart

2010-05-24T20:13:00.000-07:00

so i have been in a funk, right?
things just seem off and not balanced.
well i happen to be privileged enough to have this cousin who is a reflexologist/raki master/yoga instructor/nurse (almost)/great listener/calming. so i asked him to come over and heck me out.
the diagnosis? well, the quick answer is that my heart chakra is out?
YOUR WHAT? IS WHAT? WHAT THE...???
(i don't know what your thinking is on alternative treatment, but i am a convert. though that is a different story for another day.)
anyways, here is a snippit from a web page i googled.

When the heart centre has been fully opened, it becomes the channel for Universal Love; what the Buddhists call Mahakaruna ot "the Great Compassion", and esoteric Christians and Theosophists the "Christ Consciousness". Once opened, the Higher Self or Immortal Divine Soul is able to work through this centre. This is probably why in so many cultures the heart is said to be the seat of the soul.

there was lots of other good insight on this site and others, but i really connected with how this brought about the Christ Consciousness.
i mean, i am not all that surprised that my heart chakra is 'off'. i am glad to have some direction and insight on where to start. so amongst some other things, i am making a list of things i need to do to set right my heart. the list is good, but will have to wait for next week as i am spending this week celebrating my birth, getting the house ready for a party and having a garage sale. you know, keeping it low key.

so i will let you know how the heart to heart works out. cus i am telling myself y'all care so much.

because i have to write something

2010-05-17T22:08:00.000-07:00

CELEBRATING: nothing this week. which is odd because we have a multitude of may celebrations including my birthday! last week we celebrated many things, adrians return from war as one of them.
SEWING: the pieces of my life back together. this is taking more effort than i anticipated and it seems i am 'all thumbs'. (and i have a lousy thimble it would seem as well.)
READING (hard copy):not much of anything other than night time stories to the children.
READING ( online):
mostly just things work related. tonight was my first online encounter with the real world in about a week+.
RUNNING:
has been great! i started my 10K's. i am one race behind the team, but have done well. last sunday marni & i did it in 1hr 10min's, and this sunday we ran it in 1hr 5min's. that feels good. it's the only time i seem to have clarity these days. because i am ...
OBSESSING OVER:everything. money, time, decisions, food, children, the house, jobs etc... the list goes on and on and...
THINKING:
too much, i suspect. especially about the unimportant things and not enough about the right ones.

thanks for checking in here. i will post the easter pics some day. and i will get through this. i will! i will!

i am still living...

2010-05-04T21:30:00.000-07:00

i am still living. though it is a bit of merely passing through. life's kinda been the shits these days. (i can say that 'cus it's my blog and i am a grown up!) on top of the unexpected death and how it has left my family reeling, we since have had our car broken into, registration and pink card stolen, more sickness, and an MS attack with my Dad. (who is now parked on my sofa.) i have had about all i can handle. if i knew how to link you over to a post i did on november i would but i don't so go searching if you desire. it was about how my family seems to be a magnet for kaos. discussing this with a friend the other day, she painted me a nicer picture by saying,'think of the great plans the lord must have for you? because it is obvious that satan despises you!' so to that i say, HA! despise away you stealer of life, mine can not be taken so easily.
that being said, it is a bit wearing. my heart is still a little heavier than i like it but i am trying to put on a new face for may. i am calling it the month what MAYbe. i am wiling to accept all that comes my way and in the spirit of my gran, i will choose to make the best out of what i've got. that is what she did. she stood firm in the face of life's challenges and said, 'this will be just fine if i make it so.'

thank you for that my sweet marion jones.

this is the letter/poem i read to her at the funeral;

for teaching me...

thank you gran, for teaching me...
to garden,
to help things grow,
to keep trying until you get and to start with potatoes

for teaching me...
to use all that there is to the fruit
to cut away the bruises and look past the blemishes to see all that is still good
nothing should be a waste
to can fruit and preserve the harvest
that i can fit more peaches in by cutting in 1/8 not 1/4

for teaching me...
love is a choice
it is never too late to choose it
i will have to likely make the choice again and again
but that family can not be broken
to make the best of every situation
that it is all in how you choose to look at it

thank you gran, for teaching me...
the importance of tweezing
taming the beast (our hair)
to be well groomed, nicely dressed and presentable

thank you for my...
photographic memory
frugal nature and every penny counts attitude
a desire for a simple life and simple things
perseverance
refusal to conform
and being a night owl
with striking blue eyes and a love of pearls.

thank you gran for loving me!

look at this classic beauty in 1948. stunning!

and this photo of her and i was taken after skylars christmas concert this year. we were at a second cup and i ordered her a vanilla bean. i will never forget how much she enjoyed it and how she was so thriled i refused to accept her order of 'just a small black coffee dear.'

i will really miss her. i wasn't ready to let her go.

and just like that...

2010-04-21T22:32:00.001-07:00

...she is gone.
thank you for your prayers.
Gran left about 20 minutes after my last post.
we are journeying through the next chapter now.

love you Gran!

time to go

2010-04-20T17:26:00.000-07:00

Please pray that my Gran will let go tonight and that we can move on to the next chapter in this journey.
It is hard to see and she has nothing left.
Thank You!

the worst day

2010-04-16T17:19:00.000-07:00

not easter pics.
i have a fever of 102.2
skylar has 101.7
we were up through the night.
timbers cough is still bad and he is now vomiting.
they both have diareha.
lot's of crying and mopping.
i have a return of strep and possibly mono.
we are camping out at moms because jereme, 1: hates sickness 2: is sick himself like all of our ailments combined.
plus there is t.v here!
i wish i could say that mom was helping me out and i know she would be if she wasn't at the hospital right now.
she found her own mother unconscious today when she went to get her for an appointment.
she had a stroke sometime through the night and wasn't found until this afternoon. she is unresponsive and in a coma. we are hoping she will wake up and are waiting on more details from a stroke specialist. but it doesn't look all that good.
my heart is heavy and i feel yucki, i am wiping more bums and cleaning up more puke that i have in a long time. i am hot and cold. overwhelmed and alone. and i can not let myself cry as it really hurts my throat.
this is right up there with one of the worst days ever. next to one day on our family vacation 3 summers ago. if you know that story good, if not, even better.

past, present, future

2010-04-14T22:13:00.000-07:00

PAST:
so easter happened. yay! easter. we had a nice low key weekend. jer took the whole off it of which was nice. we went on a prayer walk through the inner city on good friday and then spent the day with mom & bobo. we also celebrated the goodness of jer's school marks. saturday was a saturday if i recall. skyli and daddy went to the service at church, which she loved b/c there were flags and dancing and painting. and then lauren came to sleepover. she was woken at the break of dawn by an excited little girl. so bizzare. she is not usually that excited-up@6-canwepleaseopenggs- kind of girl. we read the easter story and had an egg hunt. went to church, and then to the family resurrection party (that is also james' birthday.)
and we went to camrose for the monday to see the davies3. it was nice. last week ethan visited and the whole thing just kind of disappeared on me before i knew it.

PRESENT:
today i found myself again cursing and running around in a manic state trying to get our asses out the mother f-ing door. i do not, for the life of me, know an easier way to get us going. i prepare, i plan, i get stuff ready the night before. if i get up earlier, the kids get up earlier. if we are on time then timber seems to have this pressing need to de-rail it by insisting on wearing shorts out. (too cold) taking off his clothes while i gather last minute items or refusing some other necessity like a coat or footwear. these moment bring out the worst in me. the mean mommy beast rears her ugly head and i despise that! and the icing on the cake, (literally) is when i grab the perfect outfit that i planned for myself to say 'hi world, i am responsible and grown up, listen to what i have to say' only to go and fasten the troussers and find the button hole just won't meet the darn button. (see previous post and comments section.) onto the next pair, and the next pair... YIKES! i really gotta get this weight back off! Note to self, NO icing today! and then when i find the pants that do fit, i then dig through my massive pile of laundry strewn about my room, (the one room i have relinquished for [what should be] sanity) in search of an appropriate top. more mother f-ing and i am a crazy woman yelling at her children and driving like a bat out of you know where to get skylar to school just in time to get on the bus for her field trip only to run timber in the other direction to his first day at child care. (25 minutes late!)
and it was then,
at that moment,
while i stood in the foyer of the day care, unsure of where to go, what to do, or who to ask for, with bags, blankets and a sweet 2 year old sleepy head in my arms, i lost all control and the flood gates opened and i just started crying. (borderline sobbing actually!) and i felt like a.. like a child. unable to reason with my emotions and not clear on what they were. *sigh*
i wonder sometimes if i will ever get this sorted out? will i get places on time? will i not yell my children out the door? will i make it through a day with out so much drama?
and tomorrow i will make an attempt at it all again. well at least i saved laurens life today! she nearly suffered death by spin wheel. (more on that later.)

FUTURE:
oh the places we will go.
i am trying to be more intentional about where we are headed. where i am headed. i am setting goals big and small for my moments, days, weeks and so on. i am trying to create space and time to accomplish them. i am setting up boundaries and routine and confinds in my day-to-day because i do so much better that way. i like to have a box and work with in it's limits... well sort of, but i need to be incharge of picking the box, it's color, size, material... and the lid needs to stay off.
also the future will have pictures of easter for you to see. i am just too lazy to go get my camera and upload right now. it is midnight.

addicted!

2010-04-04T23:24:00.000-07:00

Please do not give me chocolate. do not give me anything with icing on it either. i had a good plan and realistic goals about this easter weekend. and i tried to centre my heart on the events and the crucifiction/resurection,
but the sweetie's won.
i am an addict!
the stuff is like crack for me. i think i can have just one. but when there is so much of it around i loose all self control. i have gone off the deep end and i need to come back.(and this will not be an easy swim.)
i probably kissed a few weeks worth of hard work in the weight loss department good bye. not to mention, i did not practice the fruit of gentlesness and self control all that whole heartidly either and that is a sure sign of my problem.
unable to see where the choclate road will lead me and not really caring what i will sabotage in it's wake.
so this is my cry for help. as a general rule,
do not give me sweeties!!!
more on easter in the days to come.
HE IS RISEN! HE IS RISEN INDEED!

hmmm...that was nice.

2010-03-31T06:27:00.000-07:00

think about this scene,
being of likeness to GOD, Jesus came to earth as a baby. A mind full of knowledge and a being full of glory. he came to a couple, newly married, already outcast and as a helpless babe. he became a toddler, with so many thoughts and feelings, and no efficient way of sharing them, and so he continued, as human being, through the awkwardness of adolescence, into the young man he was when he was betrayed and crucified. if you are a parent, or a spouse or both or even neither, think of that. if you have held a baby in your arms, you know how fragile they are. how dependant upon others they are for their needs. imagine how humbling that must have been for the king of the world? and if you have had the privilege of interacting with a 2 year old, you know how lovely they can be but also how hard it is for them. they know so much, think so much and feel so much yet are bound by their inability to effectively communicate or be heard. now i doubt that Jesus was having temper tantrums over not getting the last fig, but he was still 2. and imagine being the parents. do you know/remember the growing and challenges of those first years of marriage? now add they fact that you are shunned for having a pregnancy out of wedlock and the knowledge that you are raising the Son of God.
these are some of the thoughts my husband shared in our morning prayer time. and i found them to be breath taking and beautiful. have you prayed with someone lately? you should try it. i forgot how lovely it is.

visitation rights

2010-03-27T17:38:00.000-07:00

Last shift at the cup tonight. If you ever wanted to visit me at work and maybe get a free-be, tonight is the night. i will be there till 11!

a good-good night

2010-03-25T23:16:00.000-07:00

I had my first thursday for me night. Jereme and i have decided we get to rotate thursday nights for ones self, no strings, 7 rolls around and you are free! tonight was my first one. i went on a lovely girls night with book worm stephy. (bookwormstephy.blogspot.com) we found treasures at good will and then had a heart to heart over caramel correto's and cheesecake. i so needed it. thanks friend! my favorite treasure found @ the g-mart? old school tupperware, you know of the yellow variety with the corrugated top? oh-yeah!
And a happy b-day to L2 (allingoodtiming.blogspot.com) i thought about you all day today and have a prezie for you.
*night-night*
{next post is of an idea i have for fun times for busy ladies.}

high five!

2010-03-25T00:17:00.001-07:00

and here are todays top 5!

1. after a 1hr fit, i got Eli to calm down by putting his shoes on. go figure?
2. did a major revamping of our bulk food storage after spending some serious $ and bringing home the goods from the new bulk barn. (if you have one, you gotta go!) it feels so good to organize!

3. left the house with out make up for the first time in weeks. i felt so free!
4. went to skylars show and share night at school. she was so excited to show us her special place.

5. used my new spin shoes (thanks to kijiji) and increased my tension and burned +630cals in 1 hour doing my own class. my instructor would be so proud.
*BONUS*. made a delicious steak sandwhich supper, and did not surcome to any biscotti.

undecided

2010-03-23T23:26:00.000-07:00

I am unsure as to where i would like this post to go. there are so many blog ideas zooming around my head at all times. i struggle to narrow it down to which will most satisfy the craving to share. (this is where the previous blogging goals came in handy!) i did up load photo's tonight and it has been a while since there were any photo's. do you remember how i was going to challenge myself to capturing everyday beauty? well i did make several good catches over the last week+. maybe we should go with that?

it started with some sunlight and a jar on the counter...

and then i had E for a day and who doesn't think those eye's are beautiful?

and i was lucky enough to see my sister loads this month and so here is her #4 Beauty. (really! )

and then there was this sun rise that i was blessed to see as a result of Timbers new waking hour of 6:25a.m.

and there was the last of the fall peaches...

sorting through this stack of unopened mail was a beautiful thing indeed!

and there was our week of spring before...

heading back into this winter wonderland. skyli wanted to know if this meant we could do christmas again?

and the thought i have been thinking most today is why do i have days where all i want is sweets? and how P.O'd i am that i have thrown away a diligent tracking day and 75 minute work out on a chocolate biscotti!

answer me this?!

2010-03-19T22:36:00.000-07:00

Please dear readers. If you are really out there, answer me this! are all office type jobs a total f-up in the communication department? is there some rule i have not been exposed to living under my mommy, coffee girl rock that says communicating and being clear on who does what when is a joke? have you found this in your work places of past or current? I want to know if I am being unrealistic in my frustration or if i can cry my eyes out and demand better. so please, tell me what you think.

stollen! well, borrowed really

2010-03-17T22:32:00.000-07:00

I found this idea on another blog. I think it is okay to use it. maybe i should have checked on that??? i will take my chances.
i really wanted to post and though i have note of blog ideas scribbled all over and a few photos to upload, i found this an appealing way to get some typing out.

CELEBRATING; the completion of my woman's work shop. i did it. i wanted to quit quite honestly at the start, but wise words from both my mom and mama-in-law reset my thinking and i am glad i stuck it out. i am still learning from it and i think that if i stick with the material, it will really help me to create boundaries and exert assertiveness.

SEWING; ha! right. in my dreams i am sewing curtains for the kids room, bags for the bulk store, and for snacks, buttons on clothing, accents on paper for scrap booking.... and the dream continues.

READING(hard cover); still working on the midwives, greengreenergreenest, on economy one for work and the message for lent readings. have i mentioned how good i am at starting books? oh so good at starting books.

READING (on line); i wish i knew how to link from a word to the sites, but i don't. i frequent about 8 blogs regularly. usually before heading up to bed. i will highlight the blog in which i found this fascinating little post idea. and the blog in which i believe she found it for herself. both of which i like a lot. and i will list them in that order.
http://clutterpunk.blogspot.com/
http://apronstringz.wordpress.com/

note: i particularly enjoy apron strings most recent post on getting out of the house, wasting time on the net and the dinner hour. this captures my thoughts on the subjects quite nicely!

RUNNING; late for bed. i am not sure when this post will say it was put up b/c that time always wrong, but it is in fact 10 to midnight as i type.

OBSESSING OVER; 1. day timers and trying to gain some order to my days
2. finding spin shoes that are comfy, nice looking and affordable

THINKING; a lot about friendship lately. about old friends new friends, where some go, and why i don't know where. how others are always there. why some friendships are like jr high relationships now when we are approaching our 30's? about reconnecting with some, forgetting about others. do i want to be my kids friend and parent. can i be both? what is friendship over just being buddies? are my sisters my friends or are we just immeshed sisters? or are we just good sisters? can i be friends with my parents or is that asking for therapy? i am thinking a lot about friendship

work it

2010-03-14T22:58:00.000-07:00

sooo tired tonight, but wanted to post.
if you know me in real life then you no doubt know that one of my biggest vices, is the entirety of Hawksley workman.
[go to www.hawksleyworkman.com] tonight i got to see the man live for the 10th time! ( more if you count the side stages at folk fest ;p) this was a super event in my week. and i needed it! i am not sure what was the highlight, the great music, the funny stories of touring and child hood anecdotes, or the bedazzled tye-dye jump suit. one things for sure, it was, as always, amusing and inspiring. i will take the man up on his offer to start making new mistakes. as his neighbor told him to do. the old ones are become mundane and a drag.

if you haven't heard the songs, you should. the lyrics always get me at some level.
one of my favorites of late =

Lyrics to We'll Make Time (Even When There Ain't No Time) :

I never cried so much
You've been taking me apart
You gonna put me back together?
You gonna start me from the start?

I've been wrecking my blood
Been wrecking my brains
Been killing my heart
I've been living with the pain

Cause when we fight sometimes
When we're clawing at each other
Got to think it's all for something at the end of all the trouble
Got to build something to last
Not to let it crumble fast
Want to be the ones left standing
After all the time has passed

And if I'm feeling unplugged
Feeling swept under the rug
Need to hold the lantern for me
Need to pick me back up
Want to remember all the things that we said we want to do
Don't want to start to pull away
Cause it's easier to do
When you look at something ugly that you thought you hid away
When it's coming back to haunt you on an unsuspecting day
We're going to be the harbor where we can just tie our little boats
A place to fight off all the lions that keep gnashing at our throats

Everybody that we trust says it's harder than it looks
Something good's a constant struggle when there's a tree there to be shook
Better believe the wind will blow
It'll try to push you down
It'll try to pull your roots
And leave you lying on the ground...

We'll make time even when there ain't no time
And we'll make love in the middle of the night...

I hope we're older someday
And we've grown so much
I hope that we still feel the warmth there
In our kiss and in our touch
Cause the world is against you
When you're after something true
(Is forever really true?)
It ain't the fashion to be faithful
Even though it's hard to do
And it's true sometimes
Even the good ones fall away
You have to keep the fire burning every night and every day
I know it's pretty old fashioned
Is forever really true?

But when I say that you're for me
And baby, baby I'm for you
And though the grass is always greener but you still have to cut it
And the scars you get together
Are the scars you really covet
And at night when we are lovers
And we're mucking up the covers
And it's all about our eyes
And we've forgotten all the others
When we're laying there in silence
In the comfort and the quiet
And you hold me as we fall asleep
In the corners of the night
And though we say it on the phone
Out in public or alone
And then we write it down in letters
When the other one's not home...
[ We'll Make Time (Even When There Ain't No Time) Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

***oh and the run was a non event. no registration on race day. so i guess for me it will 10*09*10.
night.***

boldly going

2010-03-13T22:32:00.000-08:00

so i did it! i gave my two weeks notice today at the cup. it felt good. one less thing to juggle. and tomorrow, it turns out that i may be running my first 10k "race". i was supposed to be doing something else, but that fell through, so assuming i can do a last minute registration, i will join my friend marni and a group of gals aiming for 10*10*10 ( ten 10k runs in 2010) i actually hope this works out. it would like to do that. i am felling a little more like me today too, and that is so much nicer than the sad bottled up person i was last week. i will keep you posted on the runs.

carbonation

2010-03-12T23:55:00.000-08:00

today it feels like a pop bottle. big two liter. that has been all shook up, you know so the bottle is really firm?! and i am debating whether it would be a good idea to open the cap. and if so a little bit and then close, repeat. or to just to let it all go?
(thanks for your words)

honesty

2010-03-11T23:00:00.001-08:00

if you want to know the truth,
i am sad inside.
i do not know why,
i do not know when it came,
i do not know when it will go,
but there it is.
i feel
defeated
and broken down.
and the things
i would love to do
are of no interest to me.
i can not seem to will this away
or to push it down.
i will take it as a season
and
cry
it
out
until
the grey clouds have lifted
and the sun shines in again.
so there you have it.

overcome

2010-03-03T22:32:00.000-08:00

So to help me let go and get into a good space, last night after turning off the computer i grabbed my old friend (dslr) and snapped a few photo's. it didn't take long and i felt accomplished and saw things thru the lens. i haven't done that lately and photography is my passion. it was another way to gain new perspective. my house was in disaray and this helped me to see the beauty in a house that was well lived in these last few days. little marks and reminders of the children, like signatures on art work, strewn all about.

and the last of the apples from fall market all washed and ready to enjoy! yum-yum.

and this ties in nicely to the blog goal. i am starting a little me project. hopefully this weekend. i will spend one week seeing the beauty of everyday and i will photograph these things and share them with you. whoever you are.
and the next blog goal in addition to that is about fitness and nutrition. how am i doing at shedding those xmas pounds?
good night now!

this is all i got

2010-03-02T21:35:00.000-08:00

So this will short and sweet.
the rashes are different stages of the strep virus. (go figure!) and now all 4 of us are the anti antibiotic users.
the plans for looking at things differently will have to wait until another day.

there has been a tornado move through our house tonight and though i saw the warnings, i was not prepared and i am in the midst of cleaning up the devastating after math. don't make a fuss now, this is just a part of what has become our life. there is joy in the hopes of tomorrow. good night.

untitled

2010-03-01T20:00:00.000-08:00

Well, lets see here. there are no photos of our house hold accomplishments because we didn't have any. accomplishments that is. and the fun filled part, well it was fun to a lesser degree than anticipated. at first i was really cheesed about this. and my post would have gone something like...
as you may recall from a post i had in november, it would seem that our family is destined for the hard road, the disappointed road. it would seem that life always pours us a glass half empty and that we are destined for difficult times. the long awaited for weekend of accomplishment and fun time was counteracted by a nasty case of (suspected) strep throat which left me tired and irritable. we had a good time friday night but by saturday morning it was hard to swallow and by noon i had a fever, aches and chills. i started a homeopathic treatment and i laid in a hot bath for an hour or more before moving to the couch where i slept for hours. so much for good conversation or food. i couldn't open my mouth to speak and i had to force my self to swallow the natural build up saliva. we canceled the dinner reservation and planned on a night in. but a witch brew and few ib profin later i was feeling some relief so we headed out with friends to a different restaurant and then played some games, but by the time dessert had been eaten, it hit me ten fold. By sunday morning i was crying in agony and after a sneeze left me convinced that i blown out part of my pallet, i let Jereme take me to the dr. instead of out to brunch and for a nice walk as planned. we were turned away from medi-centre one as they were passed max capacity. (seriously???) and at the next one there was one dr. on and 9 people ahead of us. what's your guess for wait time? come on make a guess. my guess was 1.5 hrs. jers guess was 50 min. would you believe it took 2 hours 20 minutes to see the guy? I spent most of this time sleeping on jers shoulder while he read the only magazine in the room. (some lame canadian parenting thing.) and since when do they not allow t.v in the waiting room? hello it was the gold medal game people!!! we were ticked. so a 'say awe' and a 'does this hurt" later i had a RX for antibiotics and t3's. then came the wait at the pharmacy and eventually we ended up at moms house to retrieve the children and catch the end of the game. (YAY CANADA!!!) i felt like death and jer took the kids home while i had a nap in my moms soaker tub for 1hr 45 minutes. (yes, i slept in the tub.) I won't bore with more useless details except to say that it was hard to come home to children who wanted me when, even if i had wanted to snuggle and hold them, i was much too contagious to be in contact with them. and inevitably, the house was a disaster after 2 hours with daddy.
all these things made me so angry and i found my thoughts going to the place where they usually go after these events. to the 'we always get the shaft' thoughts. and then i remembered some of the lessons i have been learning in this lents reflections. and about how those thoughts and feelings are not of gentle nature.
So in addition to the facts above i would like to say this;
I am thankful for my parents watching the kids so we could have a weekend of no children. this meant i could rest and focus on health with out having to focus on them. my husband too could spend time with me while i was ill as a result in stead of having to solely care for our children. we are so fortunate to live in place where we pay next to nothing for our health care and our system is not corrupt. we have blue cross and therefor paid only $4 for my RX. we enjoyed the company of good friends and watched good movies and funny t.v. we laughed together and enjoyed just being near one another. those are all wonderful things. and heck, we even saved some money by missing out on a few things. the glass is half full.

next blog= the answer to the question of why my children have a funky rash? and plans for a week of observing differently.

high five!

2010-02-25T22:34:00.000-08:00

So today was just a day. i thought i would list five highlights though. so here they are in no particular order.
1) Timber had his butt changed in the middle of the mercedes parking lot. Yup there we were, outside our so non mercedes car, pants down around the ankles, hinney covered in stinky, for all the elite car purchasers to adore. what can i say, you do what you gotta.
2) we stayed in our p.j.'s all day. well mostly all day. it was p.j. day at music class and the kids sported them all around town. i did however throw a pair of jeans on after class.
3) i did a 40 minute run tonight. haven't ran in months. i have become a spin and weight class junkie and forgot about my out door running shoes. it was fun mostly, except for the odd giant puddle or ice patch. it was especially cute that timber would call for the dog whenever she was out of sight.
4) i am less than 24 hours away from an all husband, no children weekend!
5) visited buns and roses organic bakery today and had a deliciously nutritious cookie before signing up at deliahs for an entire years worth of waxing appointments.
*BONUS; i mindfully chose self control today when offered chocolate biscuits at the care centre. and believe i was pretty gentle with the children today as well. gold star for me.
i hear the pillow calling early tonight. in fact it is practically screaming my name. so i off i go . sweet dreams.
Blog Goal is to post photo's of our household accomplishments and details of our fun filled weekend.

counting down

2010-02-23T22:39:00.000-08:00

3 sleeps until it is all over! Jereme will be done school for good. Well for good with this trade, and he will be home and our lives can return to the kaos that we call normal. as opposed to the insanity that is life now. we are planning on having a kid free weekend and getting stuff done around the house. We will go to a movie, out to eat and such, but we want to get some spring cleaning done too.
I have completed my first month at my new job and think i have fared okay. i only see it getting better so that is a plus. that means i need to give notice at the cup. and that will be a bit tough, but i clearly can not continue on there. i have to grow up now. and it is really not healthy in so many ways. lots of temptations. so count down to quitting time too i guess.
and there are 30 something days left in my lent journey to gentleness and self control. this has proven to be just as difficult as i had hoped it wouldn't be. maybe i am destined to a life of being a harsh self indulgent woman! no strike that, i am: gentle, i can use self control, i will succeed!
i am sleepy and i don't have anything all that exciting to say, just wanted to let all you devote followers to know i am alive and (pretty) well.
peace

flowers for hadassah

2010-02-18T23:03:00.000-08:00

usually on the 18th of february, at least the previous 2, we have gone as a family to pick out flowers for hadassah. to remember her short life and to celebrate her going to heaven day. I actually have come to look forward to it and find that it brings me some comfort and peace. a few weeks ago jereme and i talked briefly about today and what we would do since he wasn't going to be around. and i think amongst all the stress he was kinda hoping to just put it on the back burner. i can't say i judge him for this, i can understand not wanting to remember sometimes. but i do remember and i want to take time to do so. i didn't know what i would do about getting flowers and to be honest, i didn't put much focus into it today. i did think of the significance of today and i am taking a moment to remember our child gone too soon, but there are not flowers for haddy on our table this evening. and i am not sure how i feel about that.

ash's to ash's

2010-02-17T21:54:00.000-08:00

the season is upon us. Lent. wikipedia (where would be with out wiki?) says;
"Lent, in Christian tradition, is the period of the liturgical year leading up to Easter. The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer — through prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self-denial — for the annual commemoration during Holy Week of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus, which recalls the events linked to the Passion of Christ and culminates in Easter, the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ."
and continue on by saying; "There are traditionally forty days in Lent which are marked by fasting, both from foods and festivities, and by other acts of penance. The three traditional practices to be taken up with renewed vigour during Lent are prayer (justice towards God), fasting (justice towards self), and almsgiving (justice towards neighbour). Today, some people give up a vice of theirs, add something that will bring them closer to God, and often give the time or money spent doing that to charitable purposes or organizations."
So i have concluded that i should do something for God, for self, and for neighbour. This is tricky. last year i gave up sweets and though it was challenging, it was pretty straight forward and achievable. This year i wanted to do something that would require me to lean more on the LORD.

i tossed around a few idea's, and think i have come up with the following. to strive for gentleness and self control. that has been an aim of mine for quite some time so what better time to actually dive right into it?

Passage Galatians 5:23:
23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!
Passage Colossians 3:12:
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Passage Proverbs 25:28:
28 A person without self-control
is like a city with broken-down walls.

gen⋅tle [jen-tl] adjective, -tler, -tlest, verb, -tled, -tling.
–adjective
1. kindly; amiable: a gentle manner.
2. not severe, rough, or violent; mild: a gentle wind; a gentle tap on the shoulder.
3. moderate: gentle heat.
4. gradual: a gentle slope.
5. of good birth or family; wellborn.
6. characteristic of good birth; honorable; respectable: a gentle upbringing.
7. easily handled or managed; tractable: a gentle animal.
8. soft or low: a gentle sound.
9. polite; refined: Consider, gentle reader, my terrible predicament at this juncture.
10. entitled to a coat of arms; armigerous.
11. Archaic. noble; chivalrous: a gentle knight.
Related forms:
gen⋅tle⋅ness, noun
gently, adverb

Synonyms:
1. clement, peaceful, pacific, soothing; tender, humane, lenient, merciful. Gentle, meek, mild refer to an absence of bad temper or belligerence. Gentle has reference esp. to disposition and behavior, and often suggests a deliberate or voluntary kindness or forbearance in dealing with others: a gentle pat; gentle with children. Meek implies a submissive spirit, and may even indicate undue submission in the face of insult or injustice: meek and even servile or weak. Mild suggests absence of harshness or severity, rather because of natural character or temperament than conscious choice: a mild rebuke; a mild manner. 3. temperate. 5. noble. 7. manageable, docile, tame, quiet. 9. courteous; polished.

self-con⋅trol [self-kuhn-trohl, self-] Show IPA
–noun
control or restraint of oneself or one's actions, feelings, etc.
Origin:
1705–15

Related forms:
self-con⋅trolled, adjective
self-con⋅trol⋅ling, adjective

Synonyms:
self-discipline, self-restraint, willpower, levelheadedness.

So easy right? i don't think so. these are not qualities that i find come to me with ease. but oh how i long for them when i read the scriptures the desire is confirmed and when i read the definitions i year for such things like 'mild refer to an absence of bad temper or belligerence. Gentle has reference esp. to disposition and behavior, and often suggests a deliberate or voluntary kindness or forbearance in dealing with others...' this will inevitably take self control, God breathed, and that is what i am striving for. i will spend time with the Lord seeking his guidance and asking for his gentle promptings in my life over the next 40 days. And i will practice self control in all areas of my life. food, money , media, work and play. in turn i hope that i am a greater companionship to my neighbours and loved ones.
and ho did it go today? well on a score of 1-10 i would give myself a 6. I certainly was more aware of how i was not being gentle, so that is a start. and i did practice some self control.
so what about you? how do you plan to prepare for the resurrection? and no you do not have to be a catholic to practice lent.

but i don't hear wedding bells...

2010-02-16T21:43:00.000-08:00

many days i have thought of wonderful posts to write. about little moments in the day, about the amount of stuff i am doing, about living in the moment or of the things i am dreaming of. but alas the duties of the week took up all the time and here we are nearly half way through another week. how the heck did that happen? i have heard myself describing my last week several times to being about as stressful as the week leading up to my wedding. and that still feels like an accurate description. and maybe not everyone had that kinds of pre-wedding week but mine was a stressful event. in fact i vividly remember my maid of honor taking a break from it all, and my mother tearing the phone out my hands and firmly speaking into it at Jereme while looking deep into my eyes and telling us to get it together and to start working as a team or she damn well was calling the whole thing off! now, was i happy about having a wedding? certainly, did i want to mary Jer? of coarse, was it a lovely exciting affair, i believe it was, but it was stressful! and that is the best description i have of the last week in my life. There were days that the moment i woke i up i immediately wished i could crawl back into bed and hide from the day. those thoughts came more at towards the end of the week and they subsided friday afternoon as i tried to 'live in the moment'. (did i mention i am taking a womens work shop on managing stress and anger while learning assertiveness and how to create healthy boundaries? well i am but that is whole different post) we talked at my workshop about living in the moment. living in the moment to me is scary. [When i live in the moment (meaning i live the way i feel at any given time,) then the people around me get hurt. my words-hurt others, my hands-hurt others, my looks-hurt others, my thoughts-hurt me. Now, i am not an unhappy person and i am not beating my family. but i do smack hands unnecessarily, forcefully place children into car seats or ram hats on heads and hands into mittens, i swear and yell and say inappropriate things, i bully my husband and tell him to leave. (okay i am being very honest here it would seem.) that is what comes to mind when i think of me living in the moment. and that scares the crap out of me. i try very hard not to live in the moment. i try to step outside the moment and use on objectiveness when living. I have learnt to behave this way in my family of origin. neither of my parents were good at managing stress, and surprise, i am not either. BUT i am trying so very hard to learn. i do not want this for myself or for my family. (how did we get onto this topic??? my goodness.)] right! i tried living in the moment, like in the way that you take a deep breathe and enjoy what is. So i enjoyed that it was near impossible to run over this balloon floating on the road, and i enjoyed the quiet of my afternoon as i worked with out children. I rolled with the punches and made the best of things. The weekend was busy. it played out as follows, me scrapbooking friday night (way too much delicious food and not all the right photo's but 2 new friends and time with jenni) Jer kayaking tournament all weekend. Family time at the pool saturday, lunch with friends, parking ticket, work deliveries, skylar time with daddy at the pool before getting fever that lasted all weekend and into today. saturday night became sunday morning before my very eyes as i made cookies for Valentines day and chili for confirmation. both these event took place sunday and jer and i had a date. And then i expected to have a very accomplished family bonding day on family day but it ended up crappy, in the very literal sense, as jer and i had a flu bug or something and ended up having to cut our family day activities with the milners short and opt out of davies family fun all together. BLAGH! today was a bit of an unaccomplished day and tomorrow is only a mere 40 minutes away and has yet to be prepared for. so i had better cut this off. it s kind of a rambling any ways, but i was kind of going for a ramble any how.
tobogganing before we knew how sick we were...

blog goal=lent

mountains(not mole hills)

2010-02-09T22:11:00.000-08:00

so i sat down and thought about doing my blog and then my blog rounds.(visiting my favorite blog reads.) BUT i made a commitment to do my work first! ah ha! and i did a full hour so i think that deserves a break. it was easier than i anticipated. it would appear i had made a mountain out of a mole hill so to speak. but as promised, i am telling of my canmore trip with mom and the kids. we went the first week after new years for 5 days. it was a nice break and besides that fact that i hauled all my scrap booking stuff there only to discover i had forgotten all my photo's (monumentally earth shattering to me at the time,) i had a lovely time eating way too much and experiencing mountain life mostly from the car b/c of the frigidness of the mountain winds. we took the kids on a toboggan trip down the rail way track path, drove the kananaskis loop and went to the b.c border to allow timber maximum napping time before heading to the fairmont hotel at lake louise to skate. this was short lived as the children were much too cold. but we had a lovely little lunch at their cafe. i can not imagine having enough money to spend even a night there let alone holiday at the place as so many were. if i allow my thoughts on the subject to go much deeper then i get upset at the injustice of it all so i allow myself only to remember how lovely the soup was and that they use biodegradable dish ware. one day was spent in calgary visiting skylars allergist and attempting to play at the science centre. the hot springs were lovely and the tour of Banff was nice though cut short with the winds. we also made several attempt to spend more of our time in canmore itself but they were cut short again do to weather, children not listening, then moms cold and sleepy kids. however we ate at a lovely little restaurant and visited my favorite toy store before treking back to e-town. the timing seemed about right. i don't think we got sick of each other until the last 12 hours or so. you know, kids in a small space for too long and the only activity to stimulate them you have to create? it's wearing. So here are some of my photo's others are on moms camera so they may make an appearance at a latter date. i have to mention that having all that car time to actually see the mountains as opposed to just doing tourism in the mountains opened my heart to see a little more why it is that my husband is so in awe of them. he feels at home and close to God in the mountains, and likewise so does his daughter. i now have more understanding to how that may be. enjoy.

here i go again...

2010-02-05T20:35:00.000-08:00

Wow i am a blogging machine these days, okay so it's no twitter equivalent but i am busting out 3 a week it would seem. The reason for that is likely do to the fact that i am discovering how unmotivated i am. oh sure i am dependable and a hard worker, but if it is on someone else's agenda. it would appear that when it is up to me to see to it that things are happening, they don't! errr... i really should be working but the 'new post' option is calling my fingers to the keys. i took yesterday as a mental health day and then was called into 2nd cup. and try as i might to hit up the local shops this afternoon i could not resist the urge to come home to jereme and kiss him over and over again. (and that's where it stopped. honest to goodness. the man was a woman today wanting to talk and catch up. here about my week and just be close to me. seriously???) i did make it to my favorite scrap booking store though and they seemed game but i needed to go anyhow to sign up for next weeks crop. though i am so far greatly enjoying this entry, i did promise to tell of what life looks like for us, or for me. so with out further ado...

*Jereme and i will have been 'together '10'years next weekend. we first held hands and got butterflies on the 13th of february 2000. awww!
*to quote a friend;) even though i know with my whole heart that i married the right person and that i want to be with him, marriage continues to be work for us. but worth every drop of sweat and tears.
*Jereme is half way through is far off schooling and the end is in sight. he is attending RDC b/c NAIT is dumb (= they had no room an hour into registration for 4th year carpenter with a +90% average WTF?)
*we have faught every weekend he has been gone. starts saturday afternoon and ends in the wee hours of monday morning. this suck and i wish it weren't so. these emotions exhaust me.
*so while he is off being studious, i am running the ship here. it's lonely. conversations with 5 &2 year olds only stimulate so far. aside from dropping the kids off with a lovely helping friend every other day or so, i haven't had much meaningful connections these days.
*3 mornings a week i have to be out the door 1.5hrs after waking with the entire day in tow. 2 days i am off to millwoods, (the absolute opposite side of the city for me) and the other to my old stompin' grounds of riverbend. we eat a lot in the car these days. yay for muffins. i only wish i had time to bake them from scratch rather than a mix but you can't win 'em all.
*Sky has school every afternoon which is when timby naps but usually only in the car. so i use that time to visit shops.
*i try to visit with the in-laws every week to 10 days.
*i really like a tidy well organized house and that has proven to be a bit difficult these days, and sometimes that makes me crazy inside.
*i take oils and vit B to combat the craziness i feel. i hate when i am in such a tizzy to get out the door and i forget to pack them cus then i am at the mercy of my agitated self.
*my daughter has to be the BIGGEST doddler i have ever encountered. and i have been a nanny for 7 years to 6 children so i think i have some authority on the issue.
*we squabble like sisters. jereme thinks this is funny, i think it is irritating. i already have 4 sisters to squabble with.
*i really believe in home cooked meals encompassing the food groups and would like to make more home made soup in all my free time.
* i try to hit the gym @ least 3 times a week but prefer 5-6.
* spin class and group power are my fav's
*i have lost 63 pounds and kept it off for a year. i did however enjoy the X-mas season a little too much and managed to pack on 10lbs. i have been trying hard (but not my hardest) to get these pounds back off. so i am thinking about food and the like more than usual. i am also in a lot of bakeries these days with KEO.
*i know 10 doesn't sound like much, but it is a dress size and since i pro-actively disposed of all my too big clothes, i am living in leggings these days. Thank my mercies that those things are bacK in!
*i usual work saturdays at the cup and tend to pick up a shift a week on week nights.
*there is much more home work in kindergarten that i had expected and this requires my participation. i admit that i may have written out skylars sentences for her today. not frowned upon, just cautioned against.
*sundays are church days. I am usually involved in the service in one way or another be it snack helper, nursery supervisor, simpleton, or communion. and in theory we like to have family time on these days and try to include lauren in this. but that has been difficult since we haven't really been speaking the last 4 sundays.
*i have really great friends and am usually invited to hang out with them each week. i love to do this and try to make every effort to connect.
* i do the finances and event planning around here too and am usually scrambling to meet the deadlines. i would like to set it up automatically but that requires 1) that your account balance is paid on time and 2) that you have time during regular bussiness hours to set it up.
* i am part of the founding members of a group at church that meets regularly and that requires some outside involvement.
* i am desiring to spend more time in intentional prayer, especially for lauren whom i am confirmation sponsor for.
*every 6 weeks roughly we have dinner club. the highlight of my agenda!
*we also attend meetings on marriage 1/mo. these are potluck.
*get creative by scrapbooking and am so close to finishing timbers 1st year that i can taste it. hence the crop night next week.
*we do not have a t.v but watch greys anatomy and private practice (or as jer calls it, private parts) on line. i am perterbed that they have been pre-empted so often lately. this is my way of turning off.
*i also try hard to spend time meaningfully connecting with my kids either by crafting, playing, reading or cuddling. we really like to have dance parties.
*if i can resist the urge to blog then i try to respond to emails and if it is before 10p.m i will return phone calls. but i often fall asleep with the kids for an hour+ nap and then it is time to prep for the day ahead.
*if the day ahead is a friday then i spend about 30-45 minutes preparing my weight watchers meeting. which by the way i kick ass at.
*tomorrow i am home ALL DAY with no real expectations other than mexican night for dinner club. i plan to tidy up and possibly head to spin class. then i will whip up a batch of the most delicious cheese smothered nachos and head to the berki/vriends where i will eat way too much food, drink too much for a cheap drunk like me and stay out way too late for being a grown up with (obviously too many) responsibilities.

so there. that about brings us up to speed. Once jer is home from school for good with a red seal in hand, then life will surely slow down a little and i will quit at the cup. even though i part of me wants to stay. and i will head off to the mountains with my husband for a little R&R.

BLOG GOAL: next post will be on my trip with mom and the kids to canmore. with photo's! ohhhh-ahhhh!
xox

did i ever tell you???

2010-02-01T22:54:00.000-08:00

I have all these fabulous thoughts in my mind at any given time in my day. ideas of sending cards/notes/gifts/thoughts to those i love/think/care/feel about. i think of great topics to blog about and wonderful photo's to share. i make glorious to do lists of random acts/chores/wishes/goals to accomplish. But life gets so so so full of i donno what??? of life i guess and most of these things fall to the way side. like how i am really good at starting books and getting half way through with eagerness only for them to sit with book marks or dog eared pages so long that when the time comes to pick them back up, i almost always have to start over again b/c i have gone far too long and now have no recollection of what the darn writings are about. that's annoying and i liken these other good intentions to that depiction. ahh *sigh*.
so please do forgive me if i have put you in any way on the back burner. i am the busiest person i know and usually that is okay. if i wasn't you likely wouldn't know me or interact with me in any way. b/c i would hide!
BUT i have been meaning to tell you all that i started a new job this month. (yes another one! that brings that grand total up to a wopping 4!) I am of no official title but acting as a director for (there should be a link to the keep edmonton original web site here!) the whole organization not souly the web site. as i gain more and more hours with KEO in the coming months i plan to phase out my 2nd cup job. (did you know i worked there?) Being a doula is slow these days too so that is accommodating.
I now work "from home" and have flexible hours that allow me to, more often than not, haul the kid-lets around with me. i basically am creating relationships with people and communicating the importance of local shopping and business. so perfect for me right? right!
so pass along all your favorite gems of the local world and i will add them to my list of places to encounter. in the interm, let me tell you that where you spend your money really does matter!
Now as promised, here are some photos from christmas and i am relinquishing my aspirations to post a little note or explanation with each and will resolve to just let you have them for eye candy. enjoy.

i find that if i set a blogger goal then i am more apt to accomplish it. (less intentions and more follow through.) the next blog entry, i plan to tell you all the useless info bout our lives that just might prove to be useful. i sense suddenly this need to justify the things that make up my life and it's my blog so &%$#@it i can do that ! :) sweet dreams.

my foundation

2010-01-30T09:57:00.000-08:00

i was asked this week what value is my foundation for building my life on? my answer was fairness. i so often find myslef disturbed or wrestling with the truth of things in life that are so seemingly unfair. and these last 10 days have left me a bit side swiped.
haiti so overtly unfair!
big troubles on the home front as jereme is off in red deer all week @ school and then heads home for the weekends. these should be wonderful times of reconecting and being a family. but they have proved to be of great adjustment for all of us. the fact that we cannot easliy move through lifes transisitions is unfair.
early in the week, by tuesday to be exact, i learnt the news that three of my friends were losing their pregnancies. 3? yes 3! (do bad things really happen in three's?) this breaks my heart on so many levels and has me calling out unfair! i am sad for each of thier losses. it all too quickly reminds of our own loss and that of others before these. i am faced with the reality of lifes fragility and how all too often i take it forgranted and vow yet again to stop doing that. as a woman who is so passionate for birth and babies and womb life it hits me at the very core of my being and leaves me with an unexplanable emptiness. kowing that there is little i can do.
and then there is the moment i called for an ambulance to come to my barely responsive son on thursday morning. he is fine after spending the morning at the stollery and though skylar was thrilled to go for an ambulance ride, all the disruption to our already disrupted lives, is well, unfair.
so i am somber, but fine. tierd but living life. i learnt a few years back, nearly three to be exact, that there are things in this life, questions of why mostly, that are not for me to concern myself with. that is what trusting the lord is about. his plans are for good and i know that when i don't know why, he does and that somehow gives peace to my heart.

here i am!

2010-01-20T21:01:00.000-08:00

So, i fear that this post will be a bit disjointed as i try to play catch up with the events of our lives this winter thus far. Lets go back into the tail end of november, a few things worth mentioning are; being mommy helper at skylars school for a bread baking day.

One day i woke to an empty family bed and a suspiciously quiet house, when i came down the stair i was greeted with the statement,:WELCOME TO CANDY LAND!!!" and the following image...

[please not the length of skylars hair in these two photo's and compare it with these.]

the product of mommy's scrapbooking weekend and daddy's nap.
****
December was spent decorating the house for the big birthday celebration, enjoying advent and preparing for our home made christmas and annual open house.

and we spent that morning, (the open house morning) shooting for a family photo.

and there. next post we will cover christmas and into the new year. wishing you merry-ment.

where did wee go?

2010-01-14T00:11:00.000-08:00

what to share? where to start? the longer you leave this sort of thing the harder it is to return it would seem. but i will prevail! i see that amidst the events of jereme mission trip hype, i over looked the sharing of sir timbers 2nd birthday. (sorry timbit.)

and since my mid night riser is coming down the stairs, i guesss that is it for now. I WILL BE BACK!

merryment

2009-12-25T22:33:00.001-08:00

taking a moment out of the hustle and bustle and wishing you all a very merry chrstmas. i will play catch up in the new year. peace of christ be with you.

sweet thoughts, (better than candy)

2009-11-29T19:40:00.000-08:00

1: i am okay! i am alive, i am happy, and i am rested.
2: i was away for a weekend with my mom in the country scrapbooking~lovely!
3: jereme has returned and the kids are wired on the presence of their daddy. like really excited, bouncing off the walls with joy. more so than with a sugar high.
4: my husband is home! his heart is happy, his spirits lifted and his life is changed.
5: thank you for your friendly, lovely comments.
*peace*

kaos

2009-11-27T09:21:00.000-08:00

quick thought. is it possible that one somehow mangeages to subcontiously bring about kaos to their own lives? it seems my little family is more often than not fighting against unfiar, unforseen, unreasonable circumstances.
(thanks mom and dad davies for stepping in today. off the sleepsville for me now.)

looooong autumn

2009-11-19T22:30:00.000-08:00

Okay, so it has been like the longest fall this year. Not ever because i remember a few years ago when we still did NOT have snow on Christmas, but it is still unusually 'nice' with temps as high as 17C. That lets me feel that i am still on schedule here with a post about fall. I start with the Terry Fox run at skyli's school. She was a track star. ( the girl loves to run) doing 5 full laps. Timber and i jogged along behind. ( she is the one on the left of the two girls holding hands.)

Next we move into my fall photo shoot. I thought this would be one of the last nice days. And i guess it was since then we moved into a week of deep freeze and snow. (See my one october post. if i was advanced in my tech skills i would have you be able to click the word post and it would go there. one day i will posses the ability.)

you'll notice that sky is more than willing to pose for the camera and play model.

and Timby, not so much.

note the girlish hair cut? apparently mommy only knows how to do fem-type hair trims. opps!

we also headed out on what we thought would be our last autumn walk that evening

we went out to the farm (vriends, again would link you to my post on the market if i was in the know.) we had a feast for thanksgiving and just enjoyed the comfort of friends and food. the fields were blanketed with snow at this time.

skylar and i have created a harvest tale the last few years and it has become our little tradition. we go about collecting items the start of october and set them up to take us through thanksgiving and into halloween.

i am looking forward to cooking up these squash as the weather gets cooler.

and my big accomplishment was turning all these empty jars...

into full beauties of canned...
b.c. market fresh peaches. YUM! we have been enjoying these delicious treats.
it was a lovely day with my gran in my tiny kitchen. i am so thankful i was able to learn this seemingly lost art.

amazing racing

2009-11-17T23:30:00.000-08:00

Wow! so my Jereme has been planing to go on this missions trip to a country that is a bit difficult to get into. He is on a team and they have gone about things in the correct manner taking time to prepare and organize. Jereme applied for his travel visa for this country with plenty of time to spare but it was out right rejected do to a a less than $1 error on his part. (why not just send notice to collect the outstanding amount???) So anyways he resent the request, incurring more costs for priority mail and re applying fee's. With a few days more than the required amount needed we waited. And waited and waited. The online status remained as processing for weeks. until thursday when it declared it had been sent. So with baited breathe we hoped it would arrive in time to depart this monday (16th). On an international flight leaving at 12:20p.m one is strongly advised to be at the airport 2 hours pre flight, but is required to be there 1 hour prior. That meant at the absolute latest we had to leave our North west central home by 10:40 to have any hope at catching that plane. And would you believe that our mail arrived late? After running down the mail carrier Jereme had his passport and Visa in hand at 10:30 and we were on route by 10:33. He dashed into the departure doors with 9 minutes to check in and clear security. Have you ever seen the amazing race? well that was what i was like, only with kids in tow. Some of the quotables from the event,
"I left my passport on the roof! on the F*&@ing roof! Pull over-PULL OVER! oh no actually here it is, Get going, GET GOING!" -jer
Shut -up just let me drive. I know how to get us there fast because i am late for everything all the time!" -Lyns
"Momma when you drive like this fastness, i think i am going to throw-up! can you slow down?" -skyli
"Nope i can't. Here is a plastic bag, if you have to, then throw up into it, ok?" - lyns

And then suddenly, he was gone. and it all hit me. when i told skylar i was crying because i was emotional, she came up with the reasoning that emotional is a big feeling of sadness mixed in with a big feeling of happy. I like that. kids are so lovely in their simpleness! so now i play solo in this game of life for the next 2 weeks. wish me god speed, cus luck has nothing to do with it.

it's about Thanks

2009-11-10T21:31:00.000-08:00

This is Adrian. Lauren loves him, and we love Lauren and therefore we have fallen in love with Adrian too. He is wonderful even if he let's Timber drink soda pop. ( Don't do that Adrian!) Adrian is a soldier and I had the experience of standing with Lauren last month in the hanger out at the base where we said goodbye as he headed off in one of the current deployments to Kandahar. That was a really hard day. It was WAY harder than I thought and having him in our lives has challenged my thinking on all this war/soldier/army business. And i think if Steven, getting ready for the Sudan. I think of Miranda and Ollie. Today at Skylars school assembly they played a video, (find it here,)
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=2736336
(hope that works.) It's called soldier. I thought it was great, because it was kinda to me. I call them fighters, I don't like what they do, but things are different when you love the person in the uniform. When you have seen those families say goodbye. And it isn't that I don't appreciate all that our forces have done and will do or that I am Naive to what it means. I am well aware. I come from a millitary family, but I am a lover and ... well there is so much to it. But on remembrance day, it isn't about what I think or where I stand on certain issues. It is about saying thanks.

So thank you! Thank you Adrian, and Steven for serving now. Thank you Daddy, and Grandpa, and Super Grandpa. Thank You Uncle Royden, Bill, Andy. Aunty Deb and Karen. Thank you too all that I do not know but who serve. Thank you for your risk. Gods Peace be with you.

who are these people?

2009-11-09T22:21:00.000-08:00

So i ventured out for my evening. no nightly walk with myka and found skylars pumpkin smashed at the edge of our lawn. I thought i'd heard someone on our porch earlier but since it didn't start a barking fit, i thought i was mistaken. who does that? comes up on my porch to grab a perfectly good pumpkin, not even carved, and smashes it? i just do not understand. And while walking i discovered another poor squash who had met pavement a few house down. this ticks me off. the nerve! Jerk faces!
promise to post recent-ish photo's soon. this one is of me by Timber on halloween. by budding photographer.

feed us!

2009-11-06T15:31:00.000-08:00

this photo of timby pretty much sums up how i am feeling these days. i have finally pulled my but out of bed and am no longer taking antiviral or spreading the bug. but just finding the energy to stay awake all day is a skill i am looking forward regaining. Anyways, to those of you who read this and are interested in making food for our little family, we have a little list of allergies.
Soy,( this i in more than you think so please check the labels, this includes margarine!)
Dairy,( yep no soy and no dairy when cooking for all, dairy is just be clear, milk, cheese, yogurt, butter, whey and caisene.)
Rice, Barley, Buckwheat.
Pork,Lamb and Shell Fish.
Thank you if you still choose to take on the task. Call if you have any questions. I so appreciate the meals as jereme is off to brazil next week and i was hoping to be making meals ahead. That isn't happening, plus as i mentioned, just exsisting seems to take all i have.
much love.

so funny but NOT!

2009-11-03T20:28:00.000-08:00

"What's new with you Lyns'?"
"Oh not much, you know the usual, got the swine flu. Thought i might die, but i appear to be mending. You?"
Yes, it's true, i have contracted H1N1. In the words of Jereme 'funny, but NOT!' Thanks for you prayers and meals.
More to come later when it doesn't take all my energy to keep my eyeballs open.
Peace.

octobrrrrrr!

2009-10-09T13:31:00.000-07:00

taking some quiet time for self. just wanted to sat damn it is cold outside. too cold, too soon! haven'teven got the garden all put to winter. sheesh.

remember september.

2009-09-30T23:03:00.000-07:00

So skylar learnt how to pump her own swing this summer and is now enjoying the freedom of swinging at great heights at her own leisure.

Timber is just plain old cute as a button. growing more and more into a little boy, and becoming less of a baby everyday.

September 12th is skylars birthday and this year we had a royal ball complete with piniata and a dance. 4 years olds with a stick and a blindfold proved to be less dangerous that i thought, but also took a lot longer that anticipated to break into the loot filled mache.

september has always proven to be a busy month for us. My family has a load of birthdays and celebrations, (hence the annual cold lake long weekend mentioned last post.). This year proved to be no different, adding two new lives into the mix. This little man was welcomed into my niece's arms on the 19th. He is called Bentley.

just 9+ hours later, my little sister welcomed in to her life this little miss. Alexis was born on our anniversary, the 20th. Both of the new creatures are lovely and gorgeous. These babies are dangerous!

And that is that. Tomorrow we move into october, a month of frigid temperatures and much to be thankful for.

summer ends

2009-09-23T22:55:00.001-07:00

**This is my friend james. james and his lovely wife jenni, (my Friend first) are farming this year. Living their crazy dream of organic produce farming and selling it at market. Since it was a thought in james head last year, i said i was in. so this spring, summer, fall, i have devoted nearly every saturday to transforming the curb side of 104th street into a glorious harvest of eye candy and deliciousness. thus is a mini photo journey of our mornings. we will be there at the downtown market until thanksgiving weekend, so come and say hello and get yourself some of the tastiest veggies grown right here, close to home.

i am unloading the camera to make way for the photo's of the fall, so here are a few more things that have filled up the tail end of sumer. **

We had a family day picnic at Laurier park. I am in awe of matt and kaits youngest of three girls, cora. is she not stunning?

skylar headed off to kindergarten this year. it has proven to be more of am emotional time for me that i bargained for. but she is loving it so far as i can tell.

and we did our annual september long weekend trip to cold lake, where we had one day in the sun with no flu, the rest were gross, sick days. bummer. stay tuned for september updates. our busiest month of the year. full of birthdays and anniversaries.

thinking about...

2009-09-15T13:22:00.000-07:00

sometimes life deals us too much it would seem. when that happens i think back to the journal i kept in bible college. a time when i was so in love with Jesus and all the insight of him i could get my hands n. i still love Jesus but life ha filled up alot of the open space i once had. today i had a long conversation with a lovely woman in my life, who's life seems to have dealt her too much. (you know who you are*) and after an honest tearful conversation, i found myself thinking of the journal. full of my favorite "pearls of wisdom". And i thought that i would share a few.

We are NOT worthless, we are so very PRECIOUS, for we have been bought at a price...a very costly price: sealed with crimson red.

Clouds of doubt are created when the warm, moist air of our expectations meets the cold air of Gods silence.

"...But the LORD is faithful, and he WILL STRENGTHEN and protect you from the evil one!"2Th 3:3

" ...consider this: you do not support the root, but the root supports you" Rm 11:18

Give light unto my eyes oh Lord, even when it hurts, shine on me and let me see the truth of your own words. Give light unto my eyes...i lift my soul to you. here my cry tonight Lord, give me faith a new.

XOX

getting to know all about you...

2009-09-09T15:44:00.000-07:00

i haven't done one of these in a long time. my WSM (wicked step mother) sent it to me via email and i thought i would post it here. Fun!
1. What is your occupation right now? so many, but a mother first, and then jereme says i am in sales. i work at 2nd cup, for weight watchers and for my friends who are farming and selling at the farmers market. I also am some times a doula. A do-what you say? google it!
2. What color are your socks right now? dark green
3. What are you listening to right now? the kids playing in the backyard with squeels of delight.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? too many chocolate chunk cookies. cookies get me everytime. 5. Can you drive a stick shift? yes, and i do everyday!
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? hmm, i think it was my mother.
7.Do you like the person who sent this to you? my WSM? Yes
8. How old are you today? 27yrs but i am so much more mature than that. :)
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? ummm we don't have t.v, but i do like playoff hockey
10. What is your favorite drink? water is so good, and my treat is caramel corretto, iced or hot. and for booze, i like fruli beer.
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? used to all the time. but i have been o-natural for about 3 years now. and yes there is grey. 12. Favorite food? oh that is tricky. i am a foody. i love food. cin-buns get me though, as do cookies. i love a good salad and i enjoy good 'ol meat and potato dinners. Oh wait it is fries. i adore fries.
13. What is the last movie you watched? the hang over. inappropriate hillarity
14. Favorite day of the year? sigh, that is tough, i think it changes every year. i like easter though.
15. How do you vent anger? cry, yell, i am sad to say sometimes i get a little physical. mostly i cry.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? my cabbage patch doll phoebe, who now belongs to skyli.
17. What is your favorite season? Autum, althoigh this has so far been a bit too chilly for my liking. but i love the sweaters, scarves and harvest.
18. Cherries or Blueberries? i can't choose. we went through tons of both each week this summer. market twice a week just for them sometimes.
19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? Yes, if i send them emails, but i don't plan to send this around.
20. Who is the most likely to respond? irrelevant
21. Who is least likely to respond? see bove
22. Living arrangements? In the 2nd cutest house in our neighborhood with my love jereme and our two kids and our dog.
23. When was the last time you cried? this afternoon. (i was angry)
24.. What is on the floor of your closet? bags of old clothes, a chair, a storage box, shoes, a basket of scarves and mykas bed. likely some of jeremes clothing too.
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? not sending it to her, but it is lindsey and/or bryn. friends since 13yrs ago.
26. What did you do last night? worked at 2nd cup, walked to og, gave timber nursies...
27. What are you most afraid of? Children dying, being hurt, mistreated, abused, abducted, wronged in any way.
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Cheese would be great. i can't wait to have cheese. Timbers is allergic and till i finish nursing, i am off dairy. pat on the back for me.
29. Favorite dog breed? i like a lot of 'em and have a few tops but my #1 is a cocker spaniel. i'd love on in chocolate brown.
30. Favorite day of the week? i don't have one.
31. How many states have you lived in? None. I live in Canada
32. Diamonds or pearls? pearls. i love them.
33. What is your favorite flower? i like so many for different reasons. i will say sweet peas.

like momma said

2009-08-31T13:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a bad day. you know, nothing in particular, just a bunch of stuff pled up to make for a series of irritating events that make for a day one wishes not to repeat. the highlight of badness was when skylar threw a ball in the house. Inevitably that ball hit a special vase and it tumbled to the floor breaking in an irreparable fashion. You know the vase that we used at our wedding, the only one we kept. it is unique and used for long, tall flowers, like the sunflowers we buy every february to remember Hadessa, the baby we lost between Skylar and Timber. sure it is just a vase and it is a part of being a parent, but like my momma, and her momma, i myself have said, DO NOT TROUGH BALLS IN THE HOUSE! and in a response of irritation, i would like to point out that Jereme is responsible for letting the balls be thrown n the house. :p
Here are some photos from funner days spent this august.

i am a hypocrite

2009-08-25T23:08:00.000-07:00

Yep I am. I can no longer deny it. I, the woman who saves spiders and other bug life from human hierarchy. The same woman who rescued a mouse from the milner cabin on the august long weekend, has a house full of mouse traps baited and ready to slaughter. i feel bittersweet about this. We have thus far taken two mouse lives. Which leads me to my second hypocritical confession, the whole i am woman, hear me roar image, also fake. Sure i know i could get by with out man folk, well , minus the whole needing them to create more life, and i am not saying that i don't love men oh i do. But i claim to be a strong woman who can do anything He can do. But when it comes down to it, not so much. I could have emptied the traps, had i really needed to. And since jereme was off hiking a mountain all weekend, one would think that i needed to. But that is not the case when you have fine man friend folk who will drive over on a sunday morning, before even eating their breakfast to take care of the nasty-nasty for you. Thanks Zapf! Although, today i sucked up my ovaries and set the new traps. Go me! Here are some photos from the weekend not so long ago where i helped rescue the little vermin. have i mentioned the lovliness of the cabin before? LOVELY!!!

yucky--icky-yuck-yuck-yuck!

2009-08-19T23:22:00.000-07:00

Eghhh, we have a mouse in house. well unlikely just to be one. this is a surprise since we have avoided them for so long. But, Jereme saw one the other day and Myka, our dog, is currently in a mad search looking for one in every nook and cranny around here, And i can hear it. I hate that sound. I hate every whole thing about them. there little bodies and tails. gives me shivers, therefor i have to end this computer time with no real good for anything post and go up to bed, b/c the experience is giving me the creeps. And to my knowledge, w do not have them upstairs.

july~part*2

2009-08-14T14:15:00.001-07:00

YAY! the photo's are posted. But is just my computer or do they appear a little pixleish? So the adventures of july started for us the 2nd weekend when we went to the wild mountain music festival in hinton. It was the cutest little misic fest. We saw lots of good music up close and personal. And there was lots of dancing room for the kids. We camped out in the nearby field and had very friendly "nieeeegh"bours. (see the horses) This weekend had some hot days and started our month of music and searching for nearby water to cool ourselves. This brought on an impromptu trip from hinton into Jasper. Where skylar found a big piece of driftwood that she was determined to use for surfing. The kids and spent a few days with mel and brandon preparing for the wedding and they are conveniently located in sylvan lake so that was fun. And then there is us at the calgary folkfest along the bow river. we made several cool-off trips. Timber did some boldering and skylar went for a tip. We did more dancing, tarping, and more cooling off.eventually the family crashed on the big blue tarp. And we ended the month the same as we always end July, with Jeremes birthday party. bye bye july. stay tuned for august long at laurens family cabin oasis.

july~part*1

2009-08-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

All right here goes another attempt to post our july adventures. the first one went askew. I will put the photos here and then post seperate the words. That seems to be where i go wrong, trying to combine the two.

alive, breathing, loving...

2009-07-14T22:44:00.000-07:00

we do still exsist. we have upgraded to a new and lovely computer and have such been able to unload the camera.
what to share with you??? so much and so little has occured all at the same time. i guess the least i can sahre is that we are all well, enjoying each other and the life we are creating. our world is filled u with activities of all sorts. Kayaking, working, trips, camps, friends, home things...
i will condense the photo's to the following and attempt to stay more up to date as the future plays out. and apparently i don't quite get this photo thing, these are displayed newest to oldest and i can not turn the sideways ones so i guess turn your head.

Here is me and the kids at the childrens festival in may.
We also took a trip to the calgary zoo in may.
Here are the kids looking at the hippo's.
This photo of skylar and i is at her schools mothers day tea.
We did music with Hadlee.
Nikki got married and we, the bridesmaids, threw her a kickin' shower with pampered chef.
Easter came,
and so did spring.
We had New Years with the Davies, here is Jer with his little brothers.
A picture of Jer and the kids at christmas.
And Skyli with her gingerbread house.

w

excuses

2009-04-13T23:07:00.000-07:00

are you wondering where we have gone? me too. the quick answer is that my mac is too full to add any photo's and my camera fast approaching full as well. i am working 3 part time jobs on top of caring for our children and home. we are getting ready for nikki's wedding while jereme is finishing up his third year of school. i am floating through. which is better than being dragged. so there is a short update, i intend to find some time to accomplish computer tasks and hope to do this blog justice soon after. hang in there dear friends.

the new season

2009-01-15T13:11:00.000-08:00

to plagerise my dear friend josh's blog entry *
"so yes, it has been a long time. perhaps my longest break ever. dargh. i was actually somewhat fearful that i'd be overwhelmed and just give it up altogether. but here we go. . ."
the longer i wait the harder it gets. but just a belated merry christmas to all you devoted friends. we will load up photo's and gush all about the festivities soon.

one

2008-11-20T20:14:00.000-08:00

so,the last year has flown by.until i was a mother myself, i thought that was a cliche. how did we get from this baby,

to this boy?

time just goes. this time last year we would have been discovering timbers heart condition. this was a very scary timefor us & now we are through so much of it. GOD is so good. next week we will meet with the cardiologist to determin the next leg of the journey which i expect to be low key. i took this and the last photo the last morning timber was a on year age. i love them. i am posting the ever popular 1st cake on the 1st birthday photo too.

and once back @ home timby thought that since he was now one he would just help himself to some grapes in the fridge. after all he is a big boy now.

zippidy-do-da

2008-11-14T20:22:00.000-08:00

so,
as mentioned, we went on a church retreat. it had it's up's and down's, but we prevaled and had a good time away as afmily enjoying some pretty awesome sunshine, playing, good food, swimming, fellowship and learning. tough nearly every church member came home with either a cold, flu or both. we have had all three options at our house.

i am also posting in addition to the retreat photo's, some cute pic's ofthe kids in the bath. this weekend we will be celebrating timbers first birthday. how did that happen? we look forward to seeing some of you readers there.

goodbye october.

2008-11-10T09:14:00.000-08:00

appologies to any of you who actually read this blog. i had good intentions of posting in october. and only ow have found the moments to do so. our october started with a rather disapointing trip to the great pumpkin festival in smokey lake. the good stuff was the pumpkin truck, the best popcorn, (that skylar can now eat!!!), and these wild displays all through town with hay and pumpkins.

we filled in some days with a trip to the park with forest and visiting the newest familyaddition, mckenzie siutor.

seeing as the month endson the 31st, i took a little panda & a fairy princess to the halloween party @ skylars play school. we then headed off to nakaman for our church retreat. (see next posting, coming soon:])

giving thanks for the memories

2008-10-21T09:49:00.000-07:00

well, i will have to share eventually, so might as well get on with it. october has officially worn, stressed and saddened me out. more about all the events later. this entry is simply to bring attention to the the man i called papa, who left this world on thanksgving monday. both expectedly and suddenly. it is a funny thing, greif. it has blind sided me and krept suddenly into my everyday moments. i am most sad that he will never again wrap his arms around me or whisper in my ear. never again will we see his eyes light up when they look upon skylar and timber. at our yearly family gatherings, his sweet, silent presnce will not be sitting yonder, taking it all in. grief is selfish. i know he was ready, that he is better to have passed than to have carried on in sufering, yet there are waves that take me the place where all i can see is what we are left to miss. children allow you such oppertunity. looking at death trhough the eyes of my 4 year old full of questions is exhausting and comforting. it has allowed me to look deeply into the truth and the take refuge in the simplness of it all. skylar thought we ought to take our bed time story the the hospital to read it to old grampa and to say goodbye. that was the last time she saw him alive.

" mommy? can we go to heaven today? to visit old grampa?" the words of skylar the morning after he passed. if only it were that easy?!

gender not-so-neutral

2008-09-30T09:28:00.000-07:00

We baught skylar a train set for her 3rd birthday, in hopes that jereme and her would spend quality time building tracks and zooming the cars. now a year later, that has happened maybe... a handful of times, and not on her own prompting. however, the train is getting loads of attention from timby. i have had these discussions with loads of my parent friends, how despite or best efforts to maintain a gender neutral play environment, boys will be boys and girls, well, girls. skylar loves to play fairie princess, and timber loves,LOVES, the train set. but i guess it is still a winning situation, since, as you can see, though Jeremiah loves cars trains and trucks to no avail, he is most excited to play princesses with skylar too!

september...say it with me, september

2008-09-28T21:43:00.000-07:00

probably my favorite month. beautiful colours, warm sun but great sweater weather. lot's of celebrations and big milestones. i like the way the word september looks and sounds. our september looked like this...
*(technically august) a trip to calgary with gramma with a sunkissed stop in bowden at the sunflower corn maze.

*a quiet long weekend in cold lake. (needed after a frightening car accident.)

*then a relaxing day with the lovely lauren at the cabin. washing vieggies, playing in the yard, cooking yummy food and bathing skylar in the kitchen sink.

*september continues into a whirlwind week where skyli heads to pre-skool for a 3 day week which ends with her 4th birthday. we have a small-ish party at granaans & grampa's place.

*but itdoesn't end there. as of september 20th i have been married to this beautiful man 5 years. he took me to dinner and then to a B&B.

*and if that wasn't enough, timber learned to crawl (army style), we saw lot's of ethan and the twins, had papa stay at our house and spent lot's of time with the rozema-parkers before they go victoria.

all that and the month is not even done yet.

back on the blog.

2008-08-25T21:53:00.000-07:00

ahhh, i have been trying to post for few days,but the site was not recognising my info.odd. buttodayit did, so here i am. and here is whatwe have been up to lately.
hanging out in the nice weather,

family camping trip with the davies clan,

a day @ the milners cabin paradise,

folk fest, folk fest, folk fest...

and a trip to cold lake.

though this has been our first summer "at home" in years, we only had this past weekend actually at home. we have been busy, and having fun. this week is schedauled for more fun adventures. i'll [try to] keep you posted.

playing with kiwis

2008-08-20T22:44:00.000-07:00

here are some photos from about month ago of my kids and our new zealand friends/family.

how striking is that kiwi girl?

well, July sort of escaped me. more to come on what august has held.

the smell of rain

2008-07-21T21:42:00.000-07:00

i so love the smell of rain. in many ways i wish that my four legged friend myka and could have our evening walk and be soaked with it. a few weeks ago when we were on a walk as a family, we were hit with a flash flood. all soaked to the bone. as jereme and i took turns running the kids home in the wagon, squeels of delight and laughter filled the air. skylar burst out "o-my goodness, this is FUN!" and it was. but tonight and the next 6, leave us solo parenting. jer is off coaching the u21 team for worlds ( visit www.2008worlds.com) so myka is missing her late night walk. How was calgary you may wonder? well we are impressed. we are seeing results already, though we will have to go for more treatments and there is alot of follow up steps that i am ultimatly responsible for, i am confident that if i am vigilant in prayer, and do the work, that the two will work together to = success.
these are my favorite 2 photos of our girl from the trip.
***
thanks for the prayers keep 'em coming.

prayers for the alternative

2008-07-15T23:25:00.000-07:00

ahh... So we will venture to calgary to have a meeting with a wholistic practitioner who is confident that she can help our skylars eczema. Prayer for the whole situation is greatly appreciated. We are counting on a miracle and we know that can only truly come from God.

trying it out

2008-07-03T20:58:00.000-07:00

timber and i are just sitting here in the muggy heat and checking out friends blogs. and we thought, 'we should try this out.' i am not the most computer savy momma, but maybe that won't matter much. and in an honest moment, this photo is about 6 weeks old, but it is of timber and i. :)